The karate chop that wasn't

Black and white image of hands in a karate pose

I am glad that I'm able to write this. I might have been unable. This afternoon I narrowly avoided a karate chop. From someone I love.

Because of our complicated work/transport situation at the moment, the senior recipe tester offered to collect me from the kitchen after work. I was to meet him outside the building, on what is a very busy road. For reasons long and uninteresting, mostly relating to my own complications, I was carrying from the kitchen:

a large pot
a small pot
a tin of spray oil
several bulbs of garlic
a device with a very pointy end, useful for dealing with fruit and vegetables
today's jumper, which I wore on my person
yesterday's jumper, which I forgot to take home from the kitchen yesterday
my lunch bag
and some tea towels requiring urgent attention.

I looked down the street and noticed the senior recipe tester turning from a side street onto the busy road. To make things easier, I thought to cross the road so I'd be on his side. I reasoned he could then pull to the curb and I could jump in. The big pot slipped a little.

I waited for a break in the traffic and dashed across. The curb side lane where I was headed was clogged with traffic. Resisting the urge to rest the large pot on the bonnet of a stationary car so I could readjust my grip, I made it to the other side. Given that the senior was now heading towards me I knew I wouldn't wait long.

Approximately ten seconds later the senior moved to the middle of the road to attempt a right hand turn into another side street. I waved, but he was focused on the traffic. Getting desperate, I attempted to phone him to alert him of my whereabouts.

There was another pause in the traffic. Taking my chance I again dashed between some stationary cars to the middle of the road. The senior answered the phone, "Hello."

"Open the door," I gasped.

"What door?"

At that moment I reached our car, still waiting to turn right. I grabbed the passenger door handle before he had the chance to go round the corner. This triggered the ninja reflexes of the understandably startled senior recipe tester.

This afternoon I narrowly avoided a karate chop. I am grateful that a large pot fell into the car first.