Aging negotiation

Lip balm and hair elasticDiscussion and debate are a big deal in my house. In fact, when negotiation becomes an Olympic sport we will have a couple of contenders who have already qualified in preliminary rounds. The senior recipe tester, who is the most able to control the desire to talk, often wishes that a contagious case of lockjaw would sweep through the halls. He's still waiting.

Most weeks the issues with which we deal are weighty. Take body products for instance: the pros and cons of animal testing? The employment and conditions of adults (never children) in the production of the products we use in the home?

These questions we leave to other committees. Our concerns are more ontological than ethical. Debate currently rages about the varied uses of lip bum. At this point in discussions the secretary-general had to interject. It is lip B-A-L-M. It is for your lips. And no where else.

Second on the agenda: hair entrapment devices useful for swimming. New hair elastics were recently purchased. They are called curlies. After a swimming lesson they are called straights. We are still in extensive negotiation regarding possible ways to undo the damage done by chlorine. Discussions continue.

These negotiations have largely been completed through a pain-killer fueled fog, and perhaps explain the lack of resolution on the curlies issue. It was particularly hot, the day we went to the local pool. At leaving time I hoisted myself out of the water. In my mind I executed a smooth motion onto my feet. In reality I resembled the seal who never made the Sea World show. Something in my ribs pinged. It has not been quite right since.

I do wonder how Ban Ki-Moon manages the concerns of his aging body.